My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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