nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
