It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
