So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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