I'm really into asian looking animals
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
