and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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