Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize