You smell like stripper and shame
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
