so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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