I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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