4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You're like the curious george of whores
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
