so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
