we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
