there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
