I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
