Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
