Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
