I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
