he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
