The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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