I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Of course I have a pirate flag
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
