Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
