'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
