whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm too high and old for this...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
