So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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