Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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