it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
