I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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