shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize