That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
