HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
