dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
FUCK WHALES
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
