saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
