Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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