5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
