So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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