How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
