This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
