ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
