I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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