My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
