Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cut my penus on the lid.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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