a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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