I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize