Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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