end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
