YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
