I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
