..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
