so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
