But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
