Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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