How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
