my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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