Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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