so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
