I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
