This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
