u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
