I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
